Being Seen

To Hide or Not to Hide

From online to the printed page…

Atoms and molecules compose the universe, but stories are the building blocks of the self. The stories we tell ourselves, the stories we tell others, the stories we believe, and those we don’t. The stories that make us and unmake us, that lift us and crush us. We live out our lives in these stories, and there is power in sharing our stories, in telling our truths. It can be liberating; it frees us. In the anthology “Avoided No More: On Writing through Struggle, Shame,” fourteen writers contribute personal stories of vulnerability, reflecting the feelings of shame and self-doubt that we often avoid discussing.

My essay, “Being Seen,” is included in the anthology. In it, I explore the tug of war between my tendency to hide and my desire to express myself - a push-pull that has been a constant in my life.

My story has been published, and I cannot retract it. I’ve taken the plunge and revealed myself, which took a lot of courage. However, this isn’t enough; I need to write about the publication to promote it. I cringe at the thought. I really don’t want to do this. I think to myself, “The other writers are promoting it; I don’t need to talk about it. I’ll let the essay speak for itself.” But here I am again, falling back into my tendency to hide, even though the cat is already out of the bag! So, I push through my discomfort once more.

A long time ago, I came across this saying: “What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.” In other words, what we spend so much time and energy hiding is often already visible to others. Or, conversely, perhaps people don’t really see you, but their own projections. Either way, there’s no controlling perception, so why twist yourself into a pretzel of shame because of your fears?

As this internal struggle continues, let me share a sneak peek into the behind-the-scenes from my essay:

“I have scaled the walls of my discomfort all my life. Always pushing the edges a little further; in fact, to live meant pushing the edges, because everything was an edge for me. But if courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to move forward despite it, then, in truth, I was—and am—brave, considering the number of worries I was assailed by, the fangs of which I had to face and overcome. I traversed the razor-sharp edge of my discomfort so many times, it felt like I was living on a precipice.”

“Every essay in this collection also includes a companion piece, a ‘behind-the-scenes’ look at what it took to move through the struggle, shame, self-doubt, fear, and more to put these words to the page.”

“Avoided No More reminds us that we all have stories buried within us, that there’s power in sharing our truth, and, perhaps most importantly, that none of us are truly alone on this journey.” The anthology is available on multiple platforms: Amazon, Storygraph, Bookshop, and Barnes & Noble.

Be sure to check it out! Buy a copy; leave a review.